21 July 2011
I wrote this a while ago and in two segments but I feel like there are more people who need to read this. Here it is again.
After saying how great it is that Aaron is always clean and nice looking and cares about how he looks a friend said, 'You better hold on to that one. You got a real catch. How did you find such a great guy?'
Well, I'm writing this to tell you. But, mostly this is just about love in general, at least what I've learned about it. And for those of you who knows these things too - aren't they so true? :)
First, I found him in church. Good guys tend to Love God more than anything else, including themselves. If they do, they will not see you as just another girlfriend; they will see you as a treasure, hand-made by God himself. They will understand you are a gift, wrapped in kisses, and shining with joy. If the guy loves God before anyone else, his goal will be to treasure and cherish the beautiful creation you are. From there, the rest comes.
Second, Aaron has a good relationship with his parents. This is a sign of maturity. Sometimes, there are not strong parental figures in a guys life, but if there are, and he is close to them, it also shows he will respect you. He has seen the example his parents lead and will try to treat you well. If there is not this close relationship, don’t give up, but it can be a good sign he’s going to treat you right.
Thirdly, read 1 Corinthians 13:1-13. See how many of those attributes you can see in your guy. Is he kind? Does he keep record of wrong or does he forgive? Is he proud and stuck-up? If you want true love, well here it is in plain English. Using Jesus’ example as a model, you can tell if your guy will treat you the same.
My parents used to tell me, ‘your husband is going to have to walk on water to be good enough for you’ in other words – if he’s not Jesus, he’s just not good enough. Talk to your parents about this guy if you have a close relationship with them. Moms are usually outstanding judges of character. And girls, parents want the BEST OF THE BEST for their princesses. Seriously. They do! They may give you a hard time about a guy, but that is because they want you to marry the best man for you.
I guess, this should probably go at the top of the list, but it will remain here – talk to heavenly Daddy. God made you cell by cell and He knows who you are down to the molecular level. If you are waiting for that special someone, ask God to bring him to you at the right time. There’s no use having a relationship if it’s going to detract from your purpose, destiny, and calling for that time.
Never look for a guy to complete you. And if your guy ever says, ‘you complete me’, either slap him and walk away and never look back, or tell him, ‘I don’t want that pressure. I’d like to be with someone who is complete because of Jesus; I just complement who you are.’ Then smile and hug him.
Now, I'd like to add a bit to this. Fighting. NOT every couple does it. Aaron and I don't fight. We learn from each other and we both accept that we are not the final authority on any one thing. We disagree at times, yes, but we never yell or argue in a demeaning manner. We are never rude to one another. We don't spitefully disagree. We accept that we are on a journey to learn from God and one another together. We understand there will be times that we disagree and will argue. But we both want to live by what the Bible says on this subject - "Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive, forgive as quickly and thoroughly as God did." Ephesians 4:31-32 is pretty clear. Don't be mean and rude to each other, even when you disagree. Ask the Lord to guide your arguments. If your goal is to find a solution rather than just being right chances are you will succeed in finding a solution! Peacefully.
Finally, my mom once said, ‘Destiny, never marry a guy you’re not intoxicated with.’ If you don’t love him to the stars and back again, you’re settling. And if he doesn’t love you past the stars and back again three times, you’re settling.
Oh, and last thing, I promise, if he ever says he can’t live without you...walk away. That’s not attractive or romantic. And never tell a guy that. It’s not true, unless you share organs or something and you literally would die without each other.
For those of you who are married to the right, Godly, loving man - share your thoughts too! It's such a help to learn from you and your examples. :)
And I love, love, LOVE that I learn more about love and what it means with each day I am in this amazing relationship with my true beloved.